The first week of Easter break brought my first experience with Ryan Air...
I had heard horror stories but I was sure it would be fine... even though I was dooped into paying a $30 fine... I was absolutely sure it would be dandy because you know what? I was going to Ireland!
... and then I boarded.
Oo yeah, soak in that for a while! Take in that aneurysm-inducing, shocking excuse for a color! Imagine having to stare at this yellow for an hour and a half.
Then imagine battling a headache caused by quick changes in elevation.
Then multiply that pain by the frankly alarming amount of cabin addresses asking you to buy lottery tickets, or charity raffles, or pot holders, or whatever Ryanair had laying around they thought would fetch a profit!
These addresses were made by the member of the crew who I assume was designated to this job because they had the most irritating and least understood accent.
Then imagine you're really thirsty, and finally when the drinks trolley comes by, you order a ginger ale... then when the polite flight attendant hands it to you, you think he must have misunderstood and thought you said
"I'd like the smallest amount of liquid that a physical vessel can conceivably hold, please..."
and just as you're about to enjoy your shot of ginger ale, he asks for 2 euros.
So you shoot him a look that says 'I bet your mother is ashamed of you!'
Suffice it to say that the good news is that they're the cheapest airline in and out of the U.K.
The bad news is that they're the cheapest airline...
So we were very happy to get off the plane! So happy in fact that we were impelled to do our best wild man roar in the middle of the Dublin airport:
Enough with the complaints! On to the good stuff!
We didn't get into our hostel until almost midnight. Everyone else in our room was already asleep... so we were those people. We were absolutely exhausted, so we crashed, and when we woke up, everyone was gone. Either they decided, in spite of our waking them up the night before, to be super quiet and not disturb us... or Rory, Amanda, and I all fell into temporary comas.
I'm no doctor so I can't rule anything out.
But the best medicine was just up the street at O'Neil's Pub.
The Full Irish Breakfast:
Bacon
Sausage
Cheesy Potato Cake
Fried Egg
Grilled Tomato
White Pudding (Lard Sausage)
Black Pudding (Blood Sausage)
Baked Beans
Amanda wasn't so sure about the blood sausage;
but I was sure about everything!
After eating and feeling as though we might explode, we went walking through Dublin to explore.
Molly Malone, a character in a song which has become the unofficial anthem of Dublin.
...or as the locals call her: the Tart With the Cart.
We went to the Natural History Museum for the more sobering history of the injustices enacted on the workers of the bogs whose bodies are amazingly preserved after more than a thousand years.
That was pretty much the most interesting part of the museum because everything else was a stuffed animal... as in HOLY TAXIDERMY!!!!
By the way, did you know...
that everything in Ireland...
is frighteningly gigantic?
I miss my cat. This one looks at me funny.
Somewhat of a botched job on his guy. I think polar bears are supposed to command a bit more respect and fear... but obviously this one is in the middle of saying "Well gorsh".
But easily the best part of the day was the Oscar Wilde monument:
It was built with marble right into the side of a massive stone.
Along with some famous Wildean quotes:
"Lying, the telling of beautiful untrue things, is the proper aim of art."
I'm not fooling myself though... I know that everyone's interested in the nightlife in Dublin.
I partook but only in a strictly anthropological interest-driven obligation...
Mmm hmmmm...
Temple Bar was one of the most wonderful areas of any city I've ever seen! It's a bit like Deep Ellum, Dallas back home in Texas. There are countless bars and artisan restaurants. There are shops of all kinds to fit every budget. It's a fantastic place of culture and pride for Dublin...
so of course this is where everyone comes to get blackout drunk.
Drinking Guinness on our Dublin pub crawl.
and of course... of course I'm gonna give you all some good-looking Irishmen singing in a pub!
Of course! Enjoy!
After sleeping in again, we decided to take part in the free tour advertised throughout the city.
It was excruciatingly cold (as per usual).
We started at Dublin town hall which was magnificently beautiful and many hundreds of years old. This building has impressive history involving the several attempts of revolution from England, as does all of Dublin and Ireland.
The first casualty of the 1916 Revolt was killed on this site, right next door to town hall.
Dublin Castle, kept in its original state through years of restorative efforts...
Unfortunately, directly to the left of it is what the locals call "Lego Land":
Dublin is rich in literary history with the likes of
Oscar Wilde
James Joyce
Sean O'Casey
and Jonathan Swift:
His political satire "A Modest Proposal" sought to deal with Dublin's poverty and starvation, while also controlling population by eating human babies.
Still one of the funniest things ever written (complete with serving suggestions!), especially when you take into account the fact that some people actually thought he was serious.
The Gaiety School of Acting:
Colin Farrell and Aidan Turner both attended!
This was probably one of the most awesome sights on the tour of Dublin:
The Clarence Hotel.
Some of you might be familiar with why it's famous; but if not, the story goes like this:
A young, struggling, local band was playing next door in a small studio space. After writing songs and practicing for hours they decided to go to the Clarence Bar for a drink.
However, upon coming in the door, the manager told the band that the hotel would not serve people like them and kicked them out.
The band shouted to the manager that as soon as they made it big, they'd come back and buy the hotel and serve anyone who entered...
Some years later, U2 came back to Dublin and bought the Clarence Hotel
which they still own to this day.
BURRRRRN!
The Ha'penny Bridge leading to North Dublin.
It was named because the cost of building it was so over budget that they started
charging a half penny to cross it.
Fun Fact: built by the same company that built the Titanic.
Trinity College is Ireland's oldest university.
They carry on the tradition of offering a general knowledge exam to all its students. Those who score high enough receive free tuition throughout their academic career: undergraduate, post-graduate, and doctorate. Additionally, they get to use the Event Center on campus free of charge for their wedding.
They also get to wear tuxedos or ball gowns on campus at all times...
Here's the catch though: only about 3% of students who have taken the exam in the history of the university have scored high enough. Our tour guide said that he once had two men in his group that had taken the exam. One of the men said that he compiled every ounce of knowledge he had in his head and still only scored 40%, to which the other man said,
"Whoa, that's an amazingly high score!"
We did actually see 3 men walking in tuxedos though, so it can be done!
After taking us through the fun and quirky parts of Dublin, our tour guide took us through the more somber parts of the city
including:
The Famine Memorial
England cut off trade routes to Ireland, preventing the already starving city to try and survive without the one thing that they had been living off of for generations: the potato. In a matter of years, the national population of Ireland had been cut in half by starvation.
Right across from this statue is a gigantic and shady tree. Our guide led us under it and told us the history of Ireland's fight for freedom under Michael Collins. All but a few counties in the North (Northern Ireland) would now be the free nation of Ireland.
The pride in our guide's voice as he talked about a free Ireland was overwhelming. Many of us were brought to tears. I know it sounds silly, but you know that feeling you get when you're at a baseball game and the players line up for the American National Anthem?
Thousands of people take off their hats and sing along.
That's the feeling I got.
Small but meaningful.
The next day I wanted to walk to North Dublin because everyone told us that it was
"The Real Dublin".
South Dublin is where Temple Bar and all the touristy fun places are.
North Dublin is where Irish people actually live.
On the way, I saw the most amazing monuments and statues:
The Millenium Spire was built to commemorate the year 2000... even though it wasn't completed until 2003. It also cost €4,000,000 to erect, which is equivalent to $5,212,000... Yikes.
I don't really think Irish taxpayers were too happy with it.
They have a couple rude names for it:
The erection at the intersection
The big stiffy on the River Liffey
It's... well... it's big.
Very Big
Vertigo-inducing big
Like a highway to the sky.
The last full day we were in Dublin we visited the Freedom Monument.
I know it's hard to tell through pictures, but it shows an enslaved woman slowly transforming into a bird and flying away. It's breathtakingly beautiful.
Afterward, we took a tour of the Jameson Whiskey distillery where I was certified as an
Official Whiskey Taste-Tester.
I got a plaque and everything... so yeah... I'm legit.
The next morning at 3 a.m., it was time to catch a shuttle to the airport to go back to London...
but that's tomorrow's post.
Stay Tuned!
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